Against Nature (/Sarcasm)

"The War on Nature we have been waging on this planet is going extraordinarily well. When we first invaded thousands of years ago, it seemed like a war that could not be won. The enemy was too big and strong for us to bring down. It is with much pride that I can state today we are very close to an assured victory.

... even just a couple of hundred years ago it looked like that day would never come. The amount of ground we have gained since then is simply amazing. Who would believe we could achieve so much in so little time.

So what if the sacrifice means the extinction of our species. It's the end goal that matters. Extinction pales in comparison to the prestige of the Victory—defeating Nature itself. No other species has ever been known to do this. We will be the first and perhaps the only, imagine that!

The last 200 years has been our best yet. We have seen our army grow from 1 billion to 6.5 billion strong. The exponential growth strategy is going exactly to plan. At current rates we will completely fill all of the planet's land surface area by 2300. The strain this has already put on Nature is very encouraging for us ...

We are very happy to announce that China and India have decided to join the effort. They are both training their populations to become efficient consumers. This will more than quadruple the consumption rate of Nature's resources. Very exciting! ..."

(2005-05-05 22:29:09 SGT) [Env] Permalink

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