Reflections of a biow's life on her birthday..

Not to say I don't reflect on a daily basis.. but it's during special occasions that prompts me to think about my life.. to assess whatever there is to assess.. this year, i look into myself and see how much i've aged.. though with my petite frame, people seems to think i'm young.. but my critical eyes are telling me otherwise.. i never had double eyelid.. all the while during schooling time, my eyes are single eyelid.. then now, due to wrinkles+sagging skin i guess, i'm having double eyelids now.. trust me, they are wrinkles!.. and having kids just disrupt my sleeping pattern.. i've not been sleeping through straight for more than 4/5 hrs.. and i was such a sleeping beauty, u know.. i'm well known for sleeping through my alarm ringing for an hour.. u know those old type of china alarm clock with 2 bells on top and the small hammer swinging left and right repeately.. during my uni days, i had to print out my exams timetable for my housemates so that they will wake me up for my exams!.. so, i'm really looking forward to the day where I can sleep through..

Then i take a look at my career or the lack of.. ahh.. nothing to show there.. depressing indeed..

i guess i'm proudest of my 2 kids - Ken and Wenn.. I'm really proud of them.. EM like to say i "senang" alreadie cos both of them can now shower by their own, dress themselves though wenn need some help with socks.. and i'm so proud that they are really cheerful kids.. able to play with strangers.. and able to play with their cousins whenever we went back.. also, Ken har learned so much.. he's finally able to read simple words.. able to write better.. show more interest in drawing.. i'm really proud of him.. even wenn, without me teaching he can understand the concept of more and less.. i group 2 sets of items, asked him which is more.. he is able to point out to me.. ahh.. the 2 cheeky rascal..

But, many times i'm affected by my self-guilt, self-doubt.. wondering shd i be spending more time with ken and wenn as it seems they hv grown big without me noticing.. wondering shd i have done more.. but in all, i have more proud moments of them than sad.. i guess i too i must learn to accept that my kids are individuals, and i should not compare them with other kids

In conclusion, i think i'm really truly blessed.. and not to mention a hubby that take my nonsense.. keke.. i love my life..