working hard or working smart..

sometimes i suspect i'm a born workaholic..

From wiki: Colloquially, a workaholic is a person who is addicted to work. This phrase does not always imply that the person actually enjoys their work, but rather simply feels compelled to do it.

so true.. i'm now in the midst of this project which i myself do not know what went wrong.. ohh.. it's not heading to doom yet.. but it is dragging endlessly.. i can't seem to get it going.. i dare not roll it live.. cos i still need to weed out all the bugs.. but i do not have the luxury of time and my resources are how to say.. very junior.. so, they are doing simple mistakes and need lots of guidance from me.. hand holding even.. which is fine with me.. but my management point of view is that we must limit the resource, etc.. hence the whole project is not doing well due to my responsibilities.. although they don't spell it that way.. but i'm feeling that way..

so while i soldier on.. spending hours after hours working silently on this.. i'm thinking to myself, "is this worth it?".. so, i'm not being recognised at work.. how do one do that? how do one sell herself/himself to management.. is merely working hard good enough? does it provide the visibility to push one's career or lack off to a greater height? is management 's recognition important? so, if they dun recognise, do it justify that i can do a haphazard job? then again, i'm not doing an exceptionally well.. but at least the project is taking some shape..

which then bring me thinking abt the questions managers love to ask you during assessment and what nots.. "what do u want? what is your career path?".. the dreaded questions that i do not have the answer.. or the questions that i do not ponder on hard enuf.. so life becomes a cycle of working endlessly..

do one only do how much work one is paid? if your extra effort will not be recognised due to absence of a manager to recognised it, will you still soldier on? so, like the quote, though i do not love my project, i feel i'm compelled to get it completed.. all the while thinking, "will it be better off if i spend the effort to look for a better prospect job?!!?" so, this is biow and her dilemma with her working life at the moment.. pathetic.. :-<