Butter Marble Cake

baked this just now.. first thing my mom said, "How come ur cake crack and rise high in center? Good baker do not baked cracked cakes".. geez.. my mom is wonderful in seeing the negative side of things.. honestly, i baked so many times, and the look of the cake never really bother me.. as long as it taste yummy.. i dun even hv second thots on how my cake look like! mabbe, this is also my outlook in life.. i am not a bit vain at all.. gosh.. am i a woman? i mean.. i never really bother how i look.. nor how i dress.. is appearance really that important? i can never understand why ppl spend hours to get dressed up in the mornings.. i rather sleep for the few minutes extra.. my eldest sis take 1 hr to dress up EVERY morning before going to work!! gosh.. imagine, i can sleep for the extra mabbe 45min!! *BLISS*..

and let's talk abt food.. pls do not expect me to garnish.. my mom will say, why u dun put some coriander leaves? why no fried onion oil.. why dun put some ginger slices on top of the fish? gee.. i never ever bother abt all these.. all i want is to eat quickly and then settle ken to sleep.. i mean, why need the extras? i hate the smell/taste of coriander leaves.. i dun like the taste of fried onion oil.. and honestly i can smell nothing fishy abt the fish.. fish smells like fish.. even if u mask it with ginger.. still?!? so, my mom dun understand why am i so chin-chai (not particular) abt food.. and i dun understand why she need to be so particular?.. probably that's one of the reason i'm skinny? i dun savor my food like most ppl?!

and, back to my mom abt negativity.. i wonder is that why i'm generally a lack of confidence person?.. hv severe inferiority complex issues.. on the other hand, i see my MIL NEVER criticise/say anything bad abt EM or his bro.. (with me, of cos she's different.. but that's another long soapy never ending story like those HK drama serial).. anyway, i see EM generally hv more confidence than me.. no matter what or how much i do, i still feel i'm not doing enough.. i'm not good enuf in my work life, as a mother, as a daughter, etc.. sad.. mabbe i'm just deprived of some form of praises from my mom.. i mean what she expect me to do.. even though i do bake, i dun really bake that often.. and i dun even hv any training.. and try mixing ingredients while entertaining ken at the same time!.. i hv to put ken to sleep and rush out to check my cake, and go back to putting ken to sleep, and rush to check my cake.. IMO, it's even a wonder my cake dun end up "chao tar"!.. and to hear someone say, "why ur cake crack..".. haiz.. anyway, i shd hv known.. i've been living with her..

what to do.. mothers! love them, hate them.. still she is ur mom.. i hope i dun end up like her.. if i do, pls knock me on my head, okie?

meanwhile, i'm enjoying my cake.. yum!