this calendar is the date..

my father passed away.. ever since i can remember, we always have this type of calendar at home where my dad will tear 1 page daily without fail! A few days after my dad passed away, the calendar stays on this date cos no one at home hv the habit of tearing the calendar! My dad passed away on his favorite day - SUNDAY! I blogged abt the scare we had.. and after which my dad seems to be better.. he went back to melaka, and went to check up.. the doc said, there was some bleeding in the stomach, gave him some medicine and schedule him for another check-up.. On saturday morning, my dad seems to feel not comfy.. he's out of sort and insist to take his medication at 9am instead of his usual 10:30am.. he was on high blood medication ever since his 30's and diabetic medication since his 50's.. so, my mom got worried.. cos my dad is a man of habit! he hardly behaves out of norm.. so, my mom called my sis Leng over to bring my dad for check up.. i think my mom is very worried cos she said he saw him talking "nonsense" to "spirits" from the other world in the morning.. she said before her mom (my grandma) and her MIL passed away, they too "talked" to "these people".. my mom kept asking my dad is there anything he wish to say or do?..

so, after he insisted on taking his medication, my mom got him to lie down on his bed and proceed to call my aunts (my dad's sisters who live nearby).. then, she heard my dad fell down.. but he din't hurt his head or something.. just fell on the bum cos he miss his footings.. my sis and aunt arrived.. chit chat to my dad.. then, asked my dad to change cos the doc's clinic may be opened now.. my dad went to change on his own and before leaving the hse realised he forgot his belt and went back to take and wear his belt.. my sis tried to hold him, he pushed her away and said, "i can still walk, dun hold me" and he smiled at her! I guess his smile must hv left a big impact on my sis cos she kept crying when she recalled his smiles!.. my mom also commented and wanted to tell my dad, "stop that silly grin" but she din't.. she just thought in her heart (later she told us)..

Now, we live very near the hospital.. it may be at most 10minutes away from door to door.. but upon reaching the hospital (Mahkota Medical Center), my dad had no response.. my BIL had to carry my dad out of the car.. my mom and sis kept calling out for my dad.. doc said his heart went flat, but heart beat came back after a while.. so, my dad immediately was admitted to ICU.. sis Leng called us the outstation sibblings - sis Hong, bro Eng and myself to come home.. initial was, my mom and sis in melaka still think my dad will "recover".. so, told us to decide ourselves to come back or not.. but all the 3 of us decided to go home.. since it's on a saturday, we are all not working, so we just rushed back.. my sis Hong reached first ard 5:30pm.. we arrived at the hospital ard 6+pm.. my bro ard 7+pm.. we cried and cried seeing our dad not conscious.. we wonder he knows we had arrived? but i think he knew.. saw some tears from the corner of his eyes.. he looks so old and fragile! he's just 70+.. still quite "young"

I guess years of medication start to take a toll on his internal organ.. despite him being very aware and conscious before admiting to hospital, upon reaching, doc found out that his heart is failing, his kidney also failing (the kidney part, we knew abt 2 weeks back, but do not hv to be on dialysis yet).. his stomach also not functioning! cos, when he admitted, doctor extract out food from his lungs! so, his food din't get into his stomach!.. and finally doc found out that he had blood poisoning as well.. seems that he can't fight some virus/bacteria in his body and starts to contaminate his blood! The doc told us he had a 10% chance of surviving.. so, he told us to either continue to let him be in ICU or to "pull the plug".. meaning, on the next day (sunday), send my dad with ambulance back to our house, and remove the oxigen tank.. so, we decide on the latter.. BUT, my dad til the end never ever want to burden us, his children.. he passed away on his own at 3:20am.. only my mom saw him breathing the last breath.. in a way, we are glad, we do not have to see for ourselves the tube being removed!

Sunday is my dad's favorite day! Ever since i'm small i can sense the difference in my dad on Sundays and other days.. he will always bring us go beach (Tg Keling Motel) on Sunday.. EVERY sunday.. me being the youngest will always hv to accompany him together with my sis Leng (2nd youngest).. then when we decided not to follow him, he even brought my younger cousins!.. so, in a way, although my father's death is so sudden.. mabbe it was his wish or prayers all along..

my father wake ritual was conducted by SGM.. one of the reasons my parents took faith in Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism and join SGM was how simple the wake/funeral ritual was held.. they attended someone's wake then and was impressed and felt that it will be very easy for the children.. my dad always choose not to trouble us..

Our Last family photo

All of us chose a piece of my dad's bone to place in the urn

My dad's final resting place

These are the only 2 "assets" my dad left us.. the car and the bike!

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